I REMEMBER (Randomness all the way) pt 1

Okay so lately I've had ample moments to remember the good times I had back in college, and while digging through some old papers came across a letter that kind of "sums" up some of the fun things that happened my first year. It's long, and may not mean a lot to any of you --- but to those mentioned it'll be priceless .... so if you want to find out about my crazy first year of college read on (and it's long) but if you don't have time just leave and I won't be offended. I wrote this myself and started it while still at college but had to finish it up once I reached California again. I thought about just scanning in but the original size of the font would make it impossible to read. So I'm going to type it up AGAIN. Here goes: *** I was writing this about a month and half after the posted date, so my memories were sketchy and not in order at all. It's basically complete randomness.

April 9th, 1997

I REMEMBER

As the year draws to a close, I believe that it's time to tell you what's going on in the lives of the people I've grown to love and appreciate throughout the years. At Ricks, we've built many friendships and have had dreams and made memories that I will carry with me all of my life. From all the friends I"ve met and made my roommates the ladies of 184 have made an impact and have influenced my life for good. Annette Meikle, Minneapolis, Minnesota; Amy Stephenson, Mt. Airy, Maryland; Elspeth Mann, Enumclaw, Washington; Sheri Greenhalgh, Springville, Utah; Sarah Barlow(Byrd) very shortly, Orem, Utah; Wendy Hill (Me) Trona, California.

I've learned so many lessons from these people and have made a lot of memories. I remember way back when, when we had our opening ward social and actually met our FHE brothers, who were way different then, than they are now. Boy how things have changed. I remember an FHE we had when Monte Hudson, Darroll Young, Josh Storer, Adrien Orme, Scott Hamblin, Carsen Woolley, and all six of us sat in our front room and asked personal questions, so we could get to know each other. Darroll Young asked Monte Hudson, who in our room he would like to kiss? Guess who --- that's right he said Annette and we all laughed. Now the two are seriously dating and have talked about marriage but, Annette firmly believes that she is going on a "mission" -- may be her mission is to get married and have a family. --- Who knows?

Some other thought I can remember are of FHE nights when we would have a thought and actually play football, with some "semi-tackling" taking place. That was so much fun! I also remember our late night "parties". Pizza would be ordered by the Pizza Queen -- MOI -- Wendy and then the Music Queen -- Amy --- would play the songs which would soon become our infamous apartment songs -- Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back, and Donna Lewis ' I love You Always Forever. Having those playing while screaming at the top of our non-existent voices and standing on the furniture and dancing - in other words acting out the song -- especially Celine's. Staying up till 1:00 - 1:30 in the morning. And building the friendships that would last forever. I remember Taralynn, wanting some pizza and asking the peron who bought it -- which was usually me -- if she could give a quarter for the piece. It was always fun to dance on the couches and chairs and scream, the loudest we could the words of the song, and just look at the lookds we got from our neighbors. But it was just funny because we would scream louder and dance funnier. Oh -- WHAT FUN!!! I remember Taralynn , who hated country music, the night we converted her and played Country Crazy by Little Texas and WOW the place was a rockin then. I also remember ZAC !! (Sheri correct me if I am wrong!) This boy was persistent from Day 1. The very first Sunday he happened to see an empty seat where all of us were sitting and asked if the seat next to Sheri was taken she said, No so he sat down from that day forward he was so persistent and we kept telling her that he wants her. Well, Sheri didn't want anything to happen or anything to do with boys and Zac had her on his mind and on the 10th of September they went on their first date and slowly but surely they fell in love and let "it" happen, after always denying before that "it" wasn't going to happen. So guess what it happened.

Some ofther things I remember are in the beginning Brad Cook!!! had his eyes on Amy and they spent some time together -- she even ditched an FHE just to see him. And not to mention we thougth that it was just SICK AND WRONG because she had a boyfriend back at home!! But nothing ever happened, we got excited over nothing. (BJ if you ever read this don't worry Amy is a great gal!!!) I also think that everyone went through a phase where they liked Brad. Oh what a time that was.

Speaking of Brad -- Elspeth come into the picture. Don't worry Elspeth, it isn't all that bad, remember ladies she went to Preference in the fall with Brad one night and Kyle the next night --- while all of us sat at home and did nothing. At least right now it seems as though we did nothing. But my, my , my --- what a time!! You know what I am trying to do this off from the top of my head right now because I am right now because I am too lazy to walk back into my bedroom and get the notes. So I'll see how far I get. And just a reminder this stuff isn't in chronological order. Speaking of Elspeth, she always and I think still says this, but last semester in the fall she always said, " I HATE YOU" and "DIE!DIE! DIE" and she doesn't love anyone. Remember that !

We always said how crazy she was for saying that and I am not really telling you this next part because I am using telepathy or telekinesis to do this next sentence or so --- Elspeth go ahead and skip a few lines.

Hey you other I am no t really supposed to tell you this but Elspeth emailed me one time and said not to tell anyone but guess what she said???

That is right she said I LOVE YOU and along with the rest of you. a;ldkfjalsdkjfla;sdjfl;sadjf

Okay it really is me AGAIN !!!

The computer put me in a trance or something and it was weird but now I am alive again and can really focus on what is being said. Well, at any rate I haven't had any free time lately but I am back for a few minutes because I want this done by Amy's birthday. And I have just a week.

I also remember Elspeth and my computer. She always wanted to play mahjongg. Sheri, can more than likely acocunt for that. She had the obsession with Saturday's Warrior soundtrack, and I can't remember for the life of me the other CD that she always played, the second half. -------------

More to come in a few more days. So what are some of your funny and best college memories. And where and when did you go?? Yes this might give away your age slightly but ... WHO CARES!!! Just tell me anyway.

Get Together !!!

I found out that one of my old roommates were in town from Washington state, and I knew some conspiring was going to be taking place. Why?? Well A) this roommate didn't have our numbers. (Our = Mine, or the other roomie that lives in Utah) so she couldn't call us. B) She didn't have a car so she couldn't really go anywhere. C) Because a "Big Fat Ugly Bird" told "Us" that she was in town, and wanted to make sure we saw her.

So of course, I set to action right away. I instigated the whole thing so I'm GUILTY and proud of it. We managed to line up an afternoon lunch together, and we didn't have our kids with us. My husband watched my kids, Amy's husband watched her kids, and Annette's mother in law watched her two kids. It was FUN, AMAZING and MUCH NEEDED!!! We were roommates once a upon a time back at Ricks College -- now called BYU-Idaho. This was back in Winter Semester 1997 (Jan - April sometime) This is us over a decade later. Still friends, still stay in touch, and manage to gather from the ends of the earth to reunite and be reconnected. Thanks for such a great time that day. I really appreciated it. (too bad the colts lost in their game later that same night.)

There are more photos over at facebook that Amy posted. Man oh man have I had a flood of memories rush into me, and now I'm just totally remembering my younger days.

AND IT CAME TO PASS.....

STAY BACK EVERYONE!! I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEW PICTURES FOR THIS POST !!

and it came to pass that while,

I was thinking in my head, I'm not going to kiss this guy ( because I don't know if I'm going to marry him or not) and simply for the fact that well, lets just say I'd had my share of kisses or rather more than my share of kisses already and I didn't want to just "kiss to kiss". So we're looking into each other's eyes, and I've got butterflies jumping around in my stomach, I'm swaying back and forth and really kind of nervous, because let's face it this was just an AWKWARD time for ME!! But I clearly remember looking up and all I could see was this little nub from the branch above his head that looked like it was going to stab him, if he jumped up at all. I looked into his eyes and all I could see was a spark of love and concern for me, and it's as if our inner spirits reached out and connected with one another because all of the sudden I didn't feel nervous , AND THEN HE KISSED ME!!! OR I KISSED HIM !! OR WE KISSED EACH OTHER!! Who cares, the point is that was our first kiss!! And of course, it was dark outside, but hadn't quite reached curfew time, but it was CLOSE like within minutes. So my manager comes out of the house and asks, " WENDY?? DO YOU NEED A LATE PASS??" In this very annoying voice that really bothered me, So, I replied, " NO, I'm coming in " We kissed again, and then we separated for the night. I couldn't think of anything else and just felt really quite elated!! I was in a state of complete happiness and went to bed with sweet dreams. WHO WOULDN'T after something like that? We eventually swapped "blankets" so he used mine, and I used his, and I even had a sweatshirt that was his, because while I was over visiting him it got cold and I didn't have anything with me, so he kindly let me hold onto it, and it's still hanging up in my closet. I loved the way it smelled like him, and until we were able to get married that was the comfort I had at night to help me feel like he was near. We took long walks at night hand in hand and talked about our futures together and of course, we kissed, more than once but one night I told him that I didn't think we could go for more than five minutes without kissing each other because, that seemed to be the only thing he ever wanted to do when I was around. So while we were dancing in the living room of his house, we turned that five minutes into at least 30 minutes and we both knew that we were PERFECT for each other and that we would be there to help each other through all the rough moments in our life and that we'd be there to celebrate all the GREAT moments that would come into our life. We've now been married for 10 years and have created 5 beautiful children and are ENJOYING everyday of our lives together. All I can say is when it's right, IT'S RIGHT!! And we just have to have the faith to go and do what we know to be correct and true. We had our first kiss on May 16Th/17Th ( we didn't really write it down so I think it was the 17Th, and I think he says it's the 16Th) but at any rate we had our first of many kisses then and we were married on the 24Th of June. 100 days later!! We couldn't be more of a perfect fit for each other. But we as individuals are no where close to perfect. But together and with God -- all things are possible. So even though life hands of situations that hurt us and make us 'vulnerable' to certain feelings, those events help make us strong, and really help us prepare for the "real" thing.

We took this picture of the house this last December when we went to Rexburg for the Temple open house and of course it was winter but that Tree right there, is where we shared our first KISS!! And every time we go to Rexburg we are always sure to go back and visit it.

Here is a shot of the house from the other side. That window up on the top towards the back of the house was the window to the bedroom I slept in.

I loved my days in college. I may not have done well academically, but I did learn a lot about myself, about life, and the things that I am here to accomplish. I really gained my testimony while I was at Ricks - I always kind of just "KNEW" that it was right and while I was there I had it confirmed and haven't thought twice about the truthfulness of this gospel since then. This life seems to hand us difficult blows, but I firmly believe that if we keep faithful and believe that our Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, that all things will work out in the end. It's hard to go through those trials while in the midst of them, but all the experience that you gain from it, and the insights that you pull from it will help us to become stronger people. I often wrote in my journal some cheesy lines like " when will my prince charming come to rescue me?" and well I wanted things to happen sooner than they did, but as I was patient and enduring what I thought was "unbearable" -- my Prince entered my life and am I ever thankful that we were brought together. Because as my husband and I have often talked about it, no one could put up with my "crap" as much he does, and no one would want to put up with the way he is as well as I do. We have a LOVE that binds us together and we've worked through some rough spots and have come out on top. These emotions that we go through, don't make life easier really, but they do make it feel so much better when they do go the right ways. So I'm glad that my husband loves me, and often reassures me of that when I start to feel down about life in general. He really does complete me, and I feel lost when we have to be apart for very long. I sit back these days and feel really blessed to know that we are HAPPY!! I have siblings that are having rough times in life because of choices that they've made and ... well I just hope that someday that they can have what my husband and I have. A life full of Happiness. ( of course, it isn't that way all the time, because kids make life difficult, bills make life depressing sometimes, and illness affects us, but on the whole we are HAPPY! because we know what we can be a part of after this life.)

Emotions.... part 3

.. well this guy, who will remain nameless, was a sweetheart!! I went with him numbers of times to his parents house, where he actually still lived, and he was just recently a return missionary. I thought everything couldn't have been more perfect. I met most of his family, although he did have a brother out on a mission at the time. His mom was fantastic, a nurse at the hospital, ( that my oldest child was born at) His Dad, I think was in law enforcement somehow, don't quite remember. His sister had the same name as I did, so that was cool!! We spent hours together when he wasn't busy working and I wasn't busy with class, he came and visited with me and my roommates at our apartment and then was kind enough to give us rides to WALMART. Because until I met him, we did a weekly walk there to get our needs for the coming time. He even drove me down to Utah a few different times and we stayed at our friends mom's house. Things were great !! I thought ---" I could see myself married to him, " although he was a bit shorter than me, and that kind of bugged me. -- Yeah, Yeah superficial I know, but I never had an overwhelming feeling of peace when I thought about being his wife. I spent Thanksgiving that first year at his house with his family and that was really fun. It was nice to have a different view on holidays by spending it with another family, they were nothing but sweet to me. I went home for Christmas and missed him terribly, we talked on the phone a few times, but that was about it, I did mail him a few different letters and he mailed me one as well. So we tried to keep in touch as much as we possible. When I returned home from that trip, I was so EXCITED to meet up with him.

It felt as if he were just as excited. Our relationship lasted for a few more weeks and he broke it off right before Valentines Day!! Of all the TIMING!! Come on!! I was so distraught AGAIN!!! Well, to say the least, I had another broken heart, not as bad this time, seeing as how I was careful not to let my feelings for him engulf my whole heart. But it still hurt. I was once again in need of major distraction. I had great roommates that helped me through yet, another bad relationship. So we tended to spend more time together and really became best friends before we went home that summer. I've actually been around to see almost all of them fall in love with their spouses and then get married. I'm really good friends with all the spouses as well. ....
But sometimes I can't help to stop and think, now what if I would have pursued so and so instead, because after I was "boyfriendless" again, I started dating like crazy AGAIN!! There was once when I asked a guy that was in my ward to one of the dances that was going on, and I forget how I asked him, but I can completely remember how he answered!! And once again, this guy -- made me feel special. He had various guys from our ward that happened to live in the Dorms with him call my phone number all night long saying something like " this is angel #____ and the word from Thomas is YES!" I swear the phone was ringing all night long every 3-5 minutes. Of course, every time it rang, they asked for "ME" and then proceeded with their "script" -- the funny thing is I recognized almost all the guys voices and the one number I can really remember is "this is angel 666, (busted up laughing) and Thomas says YES!" -- the guy who called that time was my Home Teacher, or at least at some point he was my home teacher. It was a really great way to DISTRACT me from everything I wanted to forget.

I went home that summer.... and WORKED at MERVYN'S -- and I loved the job. After a long agonizing summer of needing "permission" again to do anything, when I was used to just going and being gone at school , it was quite an adjustment. But I survived and I couldn't have gotten to Rexburg soon enough. I was once again, relieved when I was back at school! !! I moved off campus the second year, and lived where there were 11 other girls -- CRAZY I KNOW!! But it was fun, and I really got to enjoy some them quite a bit. I didn't live with any of my roommates from the first year, because one was now married -- but they were back. Another one was back but she lived somewhere else off campus that I couldn't quite afford. But I was with her ALL THE TIME!! Another roommate was back too, but she stayed on campus in the same room actually. So we went and saw her when she wasn't busy.

I was glad to have friends that I knew from the first year, and a lot of the guys we knew the first year were back as well. Jason and Cody!! We did a lot of fun stuff, like bridge jumping!! I swear I'll never do it again, but it was fun doing it once. We went to the dunes, and had bonfires, sort of. We went to EGIN lake, and played for hours. My friend, who I spent lots of time with liked Cody, but she wasn't ready to go and approach him and be so bold, so I said - hey lets go over there. (Because I had no reservations) Well -- that was "MISTAKE" because once they really started knowing each other .....well lets just say "another one bit the dust" and now they have been married for 10 years and have 5 lovely kids. And I was SAD, because who was I going to spend my time with now??? She was preoccupied with him, and he with her, so I was a fifth wheel kind of thing. So now I was forced to get to know my new roommates, of whom I introduced her to her husband as well. And now they've been married as long too, and have 4 kids.

I slowed down on the dating thing that year, and really focused on school. We did end up going to a great big huge dune party that year that was funner then anything I've ever done before and haven't done since. But I think that I was " in like " with at least two guys that I can remember that my roomies ended up smooching on. I felt hurt, and betrayed and at this point really thought I would never get married. And then I went home for Christmas 1997, came back and then it happened.....

I had a new FHE group that year and well, my husband was in that group. Of course, at that time I didn't know it, but we had a "star gazing" activity at one of the bisoprics member houses while there was still snow on the ground and the guy had the nerve to pick me up over his shoulders and go throw me into a snow bank and held me there, while one of my roommates came up and "white-washed" my face. HE WAS FLIRTING BIG TIME!!

So another family home evening -- which this one might have even happened first, then the above experience, but at any rate, I mentioned how I needed to go grocery shopping and it was getting late, so he "being the romantic genius" he is asked if he could give me a ride. I said, "Yes" and we went to the store but while we were there, it was like I was a giddy school girl all over again, we ended up holding hands a few times, and were majorly flirting with one another. I came home, and swore up and down that I wouldn't kiss another guy unless he was the guy I was to marry. We put the food away and he took me over to "Milhollow" to get some frozen yogurt and two of my room mates came with us. Chris and I sat beside each other and were holding hands under the table as if we were trying to hide somthing. (Oh wait, I guess we were) At any rate, On march 17 we stood under the tree just outside my house and he was holding my hands and we were looking at each other and not much was said, but .....

PART 2 ... and counting

... so when I got to college My eyes just about POPPED out of my head because there were guys all over the place. RM here, RM there, "he's Hot" , What about him?, My room mates at college always seemed to ask me " so who's the guy of the week, this week?" I seriously had a lot of crushes in college -- bum deal too, because I didn't seem to be the kind of "GAL" these GUYS - I liked - seem to want to ask out on a date.



So I could have just sat around waiting for them to "NOT ASK" me, or I could go and be proactive and "ASK" them. So I was "dating" a lot of different guys back then.


( SIDE NOTE: which seems kind of sad nowadays that you can't use the word dating and a lot of guys in the same sentence next to each other because you might get one of those not so nice "worldly labels")



But I liked to go and do things, so sometimes we'd go catch a movie, (which aren't good dating ideas), we'd go play ball, heck I think a few times I even went to workout with a few guys, we'd go play air hockey, go bowling, catch a play, go to a fireside..... the list just goes on and on. There were so many activities and things to do, it was HEAVEN for me. I got away from things at home that weren't too good, and I was HAPPY!! So with keeping myself busy I eventually healed my broken heart of "my first love" and I made room for a lot of crushes. I felt hurt and betrayed because of this thing that "inadvertently" happened to me. My roommates helped get me through that time, when memories would come flooding back and I could feel the hurt and ache all over again. Eventually I came to realize that the problem wasn't ME!! It was the GUY!! (Apparently his head wasn't thinking to clearly for a long time). And no matter how much I tried to figure .... " if I had only done this instead, or.... " well we all go through the "what ifs" and that just makes it worse. I realized once again that I knew I was SPECIAL and that I had great things to do with my life. So feeling the spirit that exists at Ricks College helped me overcome this difficult experience.

Life was going pretty good until it seemed that I had room-mates that seemed to all have a connection with other people (mainly of the male species) and these guys seemed to be returning the attention to my friends. SO I started feeling a little SAD once again. I did however meet a guy through one of my room-mates and he lived in the area (sort of -- about 1/2 hour away). And I thought that he was fun, not to bad looking and seemed to possess a great personality. I was later asked by my room-mates who is friends with him, what I thought about him. Well, he did seem to pay attention to me that evening so I started thinking that maybe I liked him enough to pursue something there .... but Oh, I don't know. So there was a dance coming up and all of my friends seemed to have had a date for the occasion but I was not going with anyone yet, and I really wanted to go..... So one time I came home from dinner at the cafeteria and walked in to my apartment and saw a sign on my door that said, "You'll go to homecoming when PIGS fly!" -- I was so offended and thought that was such a cruel thing to do -- I was ready to just go in my room and just CRY!! "EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN" --- I went to my bedroom door and opened it up and to my surprise above my bed .... were a bunch of pink paper shaped like a pig hanging by string coming from the ceiling. I about died laughing when I understood what was going on. On the pigs I was basically asked to go to Homecoming with this guy that was my roommates friend. And then there was a Pink Panther (DOLL something or other) laying on my pillow with a yellow rose with it. "AW" How Sweet !! It made my heart melt. So apparently after talking with my friend she said that the guy thought I was really cute, and was hoping to get to know me better but didn't want to try anything until he knew what I was feeling about him. So I gave him a chance and he gave me a chance. So that began a dating time frame for about ..... ( well gosh, now I need to go and look in my journal to find out) .... more next time. ....

( I LOVE TELLING THESE STORIES AGAIN, I don't even know if I've written about them in my journal back then.. and now my kids can see what I did and maybe know I'm not such a WIERDO anyway .. or maybe it'll just prove that I am. We'll SEE!! )

Getting in touch with my emotions..... part 1

Pretty lengthy and might get kind of sappy READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

I just can't help but needing to put this down. I've just been reading a series of books that is part of a family saga. Anita Stansfield is the author. I just absolutely love her style. I'm totally sucked in, and have put of reading the Twilight series until I finish reading the books that are a part of this family saga. She is a LDS romance author and has a way of putting at least me, in touch with emotions that I've long forgotten about.

As I read these stories I feel like I'm the one in the story and I can almost relate to just about every emotion that they put out there. My only problem is I think I become so OBSESSED with the romance part of it and how it makes me feel, that I think I could play this part of and my husband can say the right things and treat me in just the right way and will know how to "sweep me off my feet" ...... until I realize that he hasn't even read these books -- probably never will -- and then I said, " why don't you read these books too?" and instantly I also said, " wait, it probably wouldn't affect you the same way that it affects me"

This goes back to a part of my teenage years that is a main part of where I am today so I wanted to share the experience:

I wasn't fortunate enough to have my husband be my first and only love and (kiss, for that matter) -- and yes, he is quite aware of that. But I had a SEVERE crush on a guy in high school he was about 3 - 4 years older than I (much like my husband is) and I seriously experienced a lot of emotions when I was around him. I had a crush on him from a very early age and that eventually developed into my "first love". As a young teenager I'd always noticed him, and like the way that he had interacted with people and generally how he treated everyone too. He was playful, and funny, and well I thought he had a "hot bod" ( Because when you are a giddy 14 year old that's all that matters, right?) I would see him in the halls when I got to be in the jr. high because we had 7 - 12 in the same buildings. He always said hi to me by name and said it with such a tone that just made me go to putty. That's when the crush started! He graduated from high school four years before I did, and went on his mission while I was still in high school and when he came back I think I was a senior in high school but, I wrote to him while he was on his mission, just some encouraging type letters, and letting him know how things were going in the ward and just basic how are you doing, we're praying for you, type of stuff.

When he came back from the mission he told me that it had meant the world to him, for me to take the time to write to him, when no one else took the time. You see to me, it was important, because we were already friends before he left, but I was not yet 16 so we couldn't really date. I turned 16 while he was gone and well, we got acquainted with each other after his mission. I was always in the "back seat" to other girls that "liked" him too, so I always felt hurt inside because my friends liked him - (but that happened before his mission as well). But after the mission he started paying attention to me more -- and that's when the crush I'd had on him before, started to develop into something more (at least on my end). There was one time that I had to be at work and knew that he was coming back to town but didn't know when, and all of the sudden, while I was a cashier at the local grocery store, he came through my line (mainly because I was the only line) and when I saw him, my heart just about jumped out of my body. The adrenaline started rushing and all I wanted to do was walk out of the store right then to go spend some time with him. He bought some pack of gum and when he paid for it put the money into my hands only he held onto my hand a little longer then I thought he'd ever done before. I was so head over heels for this guy. Only my hopes became shattered when I realized that in REALITY I still had about 2 hours left to work. He said that he would meet me at my house when I was done and then he picked me up and went out to his parents place and just caught up with each other. I had asked him to go to my junior prom with me even though he had graduated high school several years before and he said YES!! I was so stoked. He was quite the gentleman, surprised me with a nice fancy dinner before hand and had this look in his eye that just seemed to make me feel SPECIAL!! I felt like I would end up marrying him ( of course, I was only 17 at the time) I found every opportunity I could to spend time with him, I talked with him of my dreams my fears, my crazy family life, and yes we did kiss on a number of occasions, and when we did WOW!! I absolutely was all tingly inside and almost felt like I had butterflies in my stomach, just being close to him, made me feel safe, secure and complete. He remembered my birthday and gave me a few (cassettes) -- yes this was the mid nineties then. He was absolutely endearing. He was everything to me and being new to this whole "love" game I had put quite a bit of me into it. We had a fun night at the prom, I loved dancing with him, and his strong grip around my waist and holding my other hand with his. How could life get any better?? I had my life planned and felt good about the course I wanted to take.

BUT>>>>

That's right because I was told the summer I graduated, about a year after my prom date with him, by a dear friend who was my Laurel Advisor something that shattered that dream!! She told me that she had a friend in the stake that was a single female and I had recognized the name because she was a friend of this guy too. What she told me, was so heart wrenching and made me feel like I was going to DIE!!! This guy who had been seeing me off and on when he came to town -- making me feel special, and loved and who I shared many kisses with, was actually dating this friend at the same time. But it gets even better.....

Come to find out that the guy is also in a serious relationship with another gal back at school. I think I was told that the reason he was dragging the three of us along... was because he didn't want to hurt us by "breaking" off whatever we may or may not have had. AND.... that's right it gets better yet (said with slight sarcasm) He was being immorral with the third gal back at school and pretty much lost his testimony and ... well I don't need to go into other details, but the point was I was devastated. My leader knew how much I had invested in this guy, and was concerned for my well being and decided to tell me this in an effort to stop it before I got hurt even worse ( If that was possible at all) -- After hours of crying and a few days of not knowing how to feel, I eventually felt better and realized that he wasn't worth it!!

It was the summer before I was going to go to Ricks College which is now BYU Idaho in Rexburg, Idaho. I had some astounding roomies that year that I love dearly and always will!! You ladies mean the world to me. Because you were a part of my life when I needed your help the most. I didn't have the opportunity to really date a lot in high school simply put -- lack of guys with a moral code and that meant no members!! So when I got to college.....

(Stay tuned for the continuation of this story tomorrow - or rather sometime after I get some sleep)