While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Raging Emotional Hormones...

It's amazing to me how my life changes from year to year. Not so much me, but the things that influence me. My children get older and learn more things, and ask questions which require more than "yes/no" answers, and simple little stories aren't good enough anymore because their imaginations are roaring alive with questions of "why's and how's and where's and who's and don't forget the WHAT IF's". I've been challenged to broaden my thinking and my level of learning as well. Things that I was taught about and have forgotten over the years are now being relearned with my children. I don't want to feel less smart than them, if I can help it.

Last year, we were able to celebrate our 10th Anniversary with an overniter away from the children and LOVED every minute of it. This year, not so much the case. I think we'll end up celebrating another day and time because I never lined up a sitter, and I don't know what the heck we'd do anyway. I already have so much other stuff to "worry about" that I can't deal with that right now either. Plus it doesn't help that he tried to get the time off from work, and he wasn't approved for it. Kind of stinks.. but as always Life does go on.

I was also saddened today to find out that my visiting sister in law decided to go home a little earlier than we thought. I know it was best for her, and all, but I almost don't know why I was so affected by finding out from a different sister in law, and that I didn't get to tell her good bye, and tell her how much I enjoyed her being up here. Not to say that she didn't try to call and tell me herself.

Since she lives in Arizona, we don't get to visit and hang out a lot, but lately the last few years, I've become quite close to her (at least I like to think so -- hope she does too!!) So when I heard, it was almost like hearing that someone "died" because they left "unexpectedly". It's one thing knowing ahead of time that they are going home, but just up and hearing it later, with it being too late to say bye, kind of struck me today. And I'm not sure why? This is something that wouldn't normally bother me, but this time I was a little too emotional over it, and it didn't make sense. But knowing other factors, I can understand why she decided to go home earlier than planned, but

** You still should have come up and said good bye!!** So I could say goodbye to those cute boys of yours even if they are rascally!! Tell them we LOVE them and will miss them.

But I'm okay, really! It was just one of those days when some very raw emotions seemed to be really close to the skin, and I couldn't pretend to stay strong anymore. I think it's me missing my grandpa, who's been gone for almost two months, and the fact that my Dad and my younger Brother have both been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and the darn bosses that won't let me spend my SPECIAL DAY with my SPECIAL MAN!!!

Oh great, here I go again... I'm tearing up just typing this. It's pretty sad when you can see a situation going on and can only stand on the outside looking in, and can't quite do anything about it. You feel the pain, you see the anguish, and still can't completely make it all better.

It's just been a day where simple things would normally not affect me, but for some reason today was different. Ugh, being female sometimes is a chore... okay I mean all the time it is a chore. Think about it...

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