Eviction Notice ....

You are hear by given notice that you are to be EVICTED effective immediately!!
You were given a notice last winter and apparently the notice wasn't heeded.
So just so you know, every time I see one of your relatives come to visit and enter into my
territory, I will not hesitate to remove all life from their bodies.
So now, if you do not vacate my premises you and all family members will suffer a most horrible death. And unfortunate for you the last words you'll ever hear...

"QUICK WHERE IS A SHOE!!!"

and then you or a family member will no longer exist. So if I have to come after you one by one, or just take you out that slowly, trust me I'll do it!!!

I'm not scared of you (mostly), but You and I can no longer live under the same roof!! I've tried in years past, and the thoughts of you renting space in my house is not a good idea. The children are scared of you, and sometimes, you get really close and well

WE DON'T LIKE IT!!!

I know that someone has decided to make a home under the kitchen sink, and every time I wipe the web gone, it's put right back up the next day. NOT FAIR that you can clean your surroundings and put them back in order faster than me, so for that measure, yes I am jealous.

And you are all so darn sneaky that I can't find you to issue out your punishment for being within the walls of my home.

I also don't like the fact that when I'm in the shower one of your friends tries to play "peeping TOM" and then I get scared. And not just a little scared but REALLY SCARED. So scared that I can't really move, because you know why, you've just invaded my personal space, and now I can't move because I'm naked!! And what have I to kill you with in the shower. (oh yeah, maybe I can use a shampoo bottle) But the point is, vacate the premises or expect sudden death!!!

Spread the word, and spread it fast, because I will have no mercy on you pitiful little creatures. Some of you walk across my 12 foot high ceilings and think I can't get you, but don't doubt me. I'll find a way.

It's time to stop making offspring, and really find a new home. Leave mine alone.

I can't take it anymore!!! I've already killed three of you in the last weekend, and really hate to, so the best thing ...really is to either stay out of sight, or just leave, which I can guarantee you will be a lot safer in the end.

And if I were to add up all the rent you owed me for sharing my space... oh well, we don't even want to go there. I'm sick of cleaning up the cobwebs, sick of cleaning up your NASTY GUTS after you've met your final destiny, but luckily I know I have tissue or napkins to do such gross jobs. So if you were smart I'd turn and RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!!