While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

Friday, October 24, 2008

Am I really a butt??

So I read the funniest blog today -- and wanted to follow her example. This lady is so darn FUNNY!!! I need to take lessons from her!!! I wonder how much "humor lessons" would cost?? hmm

I've been known to be the butt of all jokes in a 10 foot radius around me.

Most recently:

  • Baby boy on his hands and knees fingerprinting with the brand new bottle of Dawn Dish Detergent.
  • T-Man somehow maneuvering the toilet tank lid and dropping it behind the toilet where it was wedged between it and the wall.
  • Finding a pull up that had gotten washed in the washing machine and then all the "guts" squished to the sides and bottom of the barrel, and then having to shake all the clothes out.
  • Having a pile of clothes to fold and then coming back into the room to find that they had just been dumped onto the floor.
  • Walking into the laundry room to discover detergent spread all over the floor. And it's carpet. And then walking in another time to find that my oatmeal threw up all over the pantry shelves and the floor.
  • Going to pour salt onto my eggs, and then the lid fell off and I had the whole shaker on my plate.
  • Or the time when I went to the store and all my kids refuse to walk but want to swim on the floor. And then they hide in the center of the clothes racks.
  • Or how about when I just get into a building, when we just left home 5 minutes before and everyone yells " I HAVE TO GO POTTY"
  • Or how about being in sacrament and the kid of mine who said, "here mom " I look up to find the stringiest, slimy booger dangling from the finger held up high in the air. Of course they weren't quiet about it either.
  • And when the cat water container gets filled with cat food, and toys and then turns into it's own "crap" ( GROSS I KNOW!!)
  • Then when my kid came up to me that should have been potty trained and says, "I pooped in my pants." Oh heaven, help me!! Who said I enjoy cleaning those!! YUCK!!
  • Or how about this one, when I was taking my kids to the library last year and the baby "projectile vomited" all over the library wall and the floor and he was a mess of it in his chair also.
  • Plus one time I took one of my daughters to see the Dr, and actually had all the kids with me and she tagged the elevator.
  • Or how I woke up one day and found all these kids running around in my house calling me mom and wondering where on earth did they come from and why are they here??

Keep reading:

  • Or when my kid decided to stand up in the cart and fall out head first onto the floor in DI, WALMART -- etc..
  • Or when I send the kids to go to sleep at 8pm and they are still awake at 11!!
  • Then there was the time when all four kids had Strep throat right before Christmas.
  • And one time where I was dog sick for THANKSGIVING!! I couldn't function and no one else could either.
  • And from a long time ago: (LIKE WHEN I WAS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL)
  • I was part of our homecoming car rally that was going on, and can you guess the kind of car that I drove?? A BIG HUGE NASTY CREAM COLORED 12 passenger van. I GOT EGGED, and someone through the egg right through the driver side window barely missing my head and slammed into the passenger side wall and slid down as it left it's trail of "snail" slime.
  • I left on a basketball game and came home to get my car and realized that it had been T.P'd you want to know who was behind it. MY PARENTS!!! They saw a friend of mine doing her boyfriends car and gave her the supplies to do it to mine too! Oh the NERVE!!
  • Then when I had graduated I was chased around my house by all my siblings that were trying to hunt me down and pin me and then I was creamed!! LIKE SERIOUSLY!! The redi-whip can was in hand and I was being held against my will and then TAG!! I had white cream crap all over my face in my hair, on my clothes -- it was a SAD SAD DAY!!!
  • And then having to give the speech for graduation just to have no voice leading up to it, and then delivered the speech and then had no voice afterward either. Yeah, real fun there!!


  • Chris had picked me up over his shoulder carried me over to a snow bank and threw me in it, just to have some room mates jump in on the fun and then they white washed my face. (rubbed wet, cold, freezing snow all over an innocent face) I tell you -- I just must be a magnet for this kind of stuff.

So as you can see I've had a lifetime full of practical jokes, with which I'm the butt of all of them.

May we look for the humor in our lives and find a reason to laugh about every situation. Something I think my husband does enough of for the both of us.


  1. Funny! And so sadly I relate to so many of them.
    Hey, while I was reading your blog, the Proclaimers 500 miles came on! Oh, how many a stake dance did we all dance to that lovely song...

  2. Yes, 500 miles!! Most of these songs people who knew me back then can totally understand why I put them on here.

  3. You're funny Wendy!! I can relate on many experiences. Not the egging though, that was probably not very fun!

  4. these are sooooo FUNNNY!!!!!!!!!


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